Turkey Detention Warning

Greetings, and Congratulations on your new membership in the Party. Orientation for inductees will commence at 1000h on Thursday, Nov. 24th at the San Mateo Turkey Detention Center; attendance is mandatory. Please help us get our relationship off on the right foot by being prompt.

At Orientation, you will get to meet the other Party members and participate in a number of fun and educational projects, as well as trust-building exercises and group-bonding activities. Under the guidance of the Thanksgiving Party Magistrates, you will experience the thrill of Working Together with others as a concerted whole. You will see how, as a team, we are able to accomplish so much more than we can by ourselves; and you will reap the benefits of that labor.

You will enjoy your stay at the SMTDC! Turkeys will be deep-fried, blackened, brined, and chilied. Pies will be juggled, slungapores will be singed, delicious fractals will be consumed, sauces will be hardened, and stirring songs will be sung in praise of the Turkey Party. Out of town Party members will set up camp in and around the San Mateo Compound so that they fully benefit from the rich SMTDC experience.

Due to limited resources and the desire to keep the training focused, we REQUIRE that you DO NOT bring outside guests without first clearing them with the Thanksgiving Party Magistrates. Unsanctioned tag-alongs and outsiders will not be allowed within 500 feet of the Turkey Detention Compound. Violators of this policy will be considered critical security risks and "turned away" upon arrival.

Those who are able-bodied will soon be assigned key responsibilities drawn from our extensive database of Thanksgiving necessities. But remember, The Party is also always looking for Volunteers! If you have a specific skill or good that you would like to contribute, please inform Party Headquarters so that we can cross-reference it with existing intelligence. Otherwise, snacks, desserts, and intoxicants are generally welcome contributions to The Party's Mission.

Please RSVBee ASABee at this Beemail address.

Thank You.


San Mateo Turkey Detention Center
2347 Clipper Street
San Mateo, CA 94403

Local Turkey Party Magistrates:
Sam 310.936.4346
Lilli 650.520.5255
Travis 214.850.9795